Welcome ICLWers!

Thanks for checking out my blog ICLWers! This is my first month participating so I'm very excited! I think its a great way to encourage comments and feedback. You can read more about our TTC history in past posts. I'm not good at labeling them so I'll make that my goal for the next ICLW. Here's a brief history for those of you too lazy to read through earlier posts :)

DH and I live in a small town in rural MN. I work for the postal service and DH works on my family's farm. Although we live in town we have our little hobby farm at my parent's. We have chickens, goats, sheep, and sometimes baby cows. I don't love gardening but I love having our own home grown food, which I preserve and can as much as possible. Its a new hobby but I'm liking it so far, I can't wait to open up all those preserved goodies this winter. I also love baking, but not so much cooking. Could be something to do with my sweet tooth. I try to get to the gym and work out a lot, I used to be in good shape, before all those fertility drug & stress pounds. Now its taking some work and some dedication to get back where I used to be.

My DH and I have been TTC for almost 4 years. We suspected we would have trouble right away because of a surgery my DH when he was an infant. They said it wouldn't effect his fertility but after 7 months he finally convinced his doctor to order a semen analysis. My doctor was still insisting we keep trying. The first test was devastating, only 140,000 sperm in the whole sample. The second test wasn't so bad but the nurse and I had a communication problem and she said it was about the same as the previous SA. I later found out when I got copies of everything that it was in fact 14mil/ml, not anywhere near the same as the first. I was very frustrated because we would have done IUIs right away if I knew it was 14 mil. DH has had a ton of SAs and we eventually determined that no matter what he does or doesn't do he seems to follow a specific pattern over the course of the year. Near normal in late December-January and then around 5mil/ml most of the year until mid-summer when it falls back to the 100,000 range until December. We've done 3 IUIs, all negative but they were done at a bad time of the year and we had only 1 mil post wash. This winter is the first time we will be doing an IUI during his good months. He tried about everything anyone ever suggested. Right now he's taking a vitamin regimen mostly for his health but we're hoping its good for his sperm too. It consists of MegaMen Multivitamin, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Omega 3, Astafactor (antioxident) and Jing Qi (herbal combo from our acupunturist).

In January of 2009 we did IVF w/ICSI. We were pregnant and thrilled about it until our 6 week ultrasound. Anxious to see the heartbeat we instead saw an empty sac- blighted ovum. We were crushed. Since then we haven't done anymore treatments, partly our choice and partly because of our RE. He's the only one in the area and I've never liked him. Even when DH's numbers are near normal he says he won't do any more IUIs. He will only do IVF or donor sperm with us. So I broke up with him:) I was looking for a new OB/GYN just for my annual and checked out internet profiles of everyone in the area. I finally decided on one, only to find out that he does IUIs! After I previously called every clinic in the area and everyone said there is only one fertility doctor in the whole city. I really liked this new doctor and I'm excited to work with him this winter.

In the real world, -outside my infertility realm- I have seen my sister in law come into our family and have two babies with no trouble at all. We all know how hard that can be. I was so bitter and angry the first time around that I avoided them as much as possible and now regret not bonding with my nephew-self preservation you know. This time around I'm totally in love with my niece and very bonded with her. Its hard sometimes but sometimes its awesome and makes me so happy. Our faith is really important to us, I don't know how we would survive IF without it. You'll see a lot about that here.

Come back soon ICLWers! Thanks for visiting!