Hope

Last night I had a wonderful dream. In my dream I was peeing on sticks and they were coming up positive. But the best part was how I felt, how happy and full of praise for God I was. I woke up feeling so peaceful and hopeful for starting treatment cycles again. When we got our only positive pregnancy test ever after IVF, I wasn't as joyful as I always thought I'd be. Even before the low betas starting coming back. Its like I expected it to happen because I thought we deserved to get pregnant after IVF. But this time I really think it would be different. We have changed so much in the two years since our miscarriage. I think that this time I could truly praise the Lord with a thankful heart and rejoice in the miracle. I don't know why I didn't feel that way two years ago. I guess its hard to praise God for something you feel entitled to and like its about time He gives it to you. Here's a song by Remedy Drive that I love. Its called Hope.