A Better Attitude

I feel a lot better now. In a way it feels like I'm moving through the stages of grief. Perhaps the stages of disappointment are similar. Either way, I'm at acceptance now. It is what it is and I'm excited to move on to IVF again. I want to call my doctor and talk about it but it seems a little soon since I just had an IUI two days ago. However I think they would understand because they know better than me how unrealistic it is to get a positive with such a low count. The timing of our IVF depends on the protocol they have me on. But we need to make sure the ER is after the 15th of March because my sub for work will be on vacation, leaving me no way to take time off. But I'm sure they can plan that by making me take an extra week of BCP. I think part of the reason I'm excited is because I've forgotten how much all the injections suck.

We will do a few things different this time. Last time we did limited fertilization because we just weren't sure how we felt about freezing our embabies. Our church as no black and white answer on that, it was just a personal choice. This time we will freeze if we can. However we don't want more than 10. We have to consider the possibility that all of the will survive, however unlikely, we just don't think we can handle having 10 kids. But we will not abandon, discard or adopt out any of our embabies. Whatever we manage to freeze, we're going back for someday and giving them a chance at life. I don't feel good knowing that there is a certain percent that will not survive the freeze/thaw process but I'm going to let that God worry about that. He is the creator and giver of life. If he chooses for them all to die or all to survive, there isn't much I can do about it.

We are using the One-Cycle Plus plan from ARC. At our clinic it is the same price for the same services as if we would just pay the clinic like we did last time. Only with this plan if we don't succeed or if we miscarry a baby part way through again we have a free FET already included. And if we do have a live baby from the fresh IVF and never use the free FET, it still costs the same as if we just paid our clinic up front. We are not sure yet if we will the $10k cash or if we will finance through ARC. We are leaning towards just paying cash. Either way we are ready to move ahead and do this.