Blogger Awards

Thanks to Mrs. Unexpected for the stylish blogger award!! My very first! Here are the rules.....

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Award 15 other bloggers.

4. Contact the bloggers and tell them about the award.

Seven (random) things about me.....

1. If I had the space and money I would totally run a German Shorthaired Pointer Rescue.

2. My dream in life is to have our own little acreage to grow and raise our own food, be a stay at home mommy and eventually homeschool our children.

3. I wear the same old comfy hoodie around the house practically every day, whenever I get home from work I immediately put it on, even in the summer.

4. If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life, it would be chocolate chip cookie dough.

5. Besides the RE, I never go the doctor, never had any broken bones, stitches, cavities or needed glasses (except now I think I might).

6. I am a planner and practically have a nervous breakdown when DH throws me off my schedule and makes us late for stuff.

7. My parents are our best "couple" friends.

I'm giving this award to......

1.) Lori at Reflections of Something

2.) Jenn at Baby Magnesi

3.) Mrs. Hammer at ....Expect Miracles.....

4.) Hillary at Making Me Mom

5.) Michelle at In Pursuit of Parenthood
6.) Heather at Reach In, Reach Out, Reach Up
7.) The Coach's Wife at The Gameplan: How To Make A Baby
8.) Marion at Keeping My Eyes on Jesus
9.) Ashley at On the Lanai
10.) Sas at Can I Walk With You
11.) NLY at Suspended In God's Grace
12.) J at A Long Road Ahead
13.) Shocks at Infertility Sucks
14.) Jay at The 2 Week Wait
15.) Megan at Bottoms On and On a Break

And now an update.....

Its well over two weeks since I posted. I just haven't felt up to it. I'm still saddened by losing Katie but time is healing. My parents found a new puppy already and he is super sweet and loveable. But he doesn't replace Katie and I still find myself missing her. Missy still doesn't seem depressed and is making friends with the new puppy quickly. To CDJ, who left a comment on my last post.....I have thought about the new heaven and earth thing and how I could see my dog again. It also occured to me that if God loves us and our pets make us happy why couldn't He let us have them in heaven. But then I think about how in heaven earthly things won't matter and we will all be so happy to be with Jesus and praise Him with the angels, who's going to care about a dog they had on earth? I guess I'll just have to wait and see when I get there.

I'm also feeling really sick of working all the time. The days get so long and boring. DH and I were discussing the differences between farming and working a "town job". I've grown up around farming and it goes back in many generations, its in my blood. With farming you are a slave to your work and you can't just go home and forget about it but there is some flexibility in schedule. I am tied to the clock with very little work to do. Its just not the way I was raised and I'm finding I don't like it. Its not exactly my job that I hate, if I have to have a full time job I'd def want this one. But I don't want a full time job, I want to stay home and raise my children. For a long time I used that as an excuse thinking "well I'll quit this job when I get pregnant." The past couple years I gave that way of thinking up. Now I'm back to thinking that way. Praying I get pregnant so I have a legitimate excuse to quit working full time. Of course that's not the only reason but I think about it a lot lately.

IVF #2 is well on its way. I want to do it but I'm not feeling any excitement like the first time. I just want it to be over and me to have a little baby in my arms. I'm not as innocently hopeful about a take home baby this time. In fact, I have serious anxiety over it resulting the same as last time. But I also feel like this might be it for us, like this time we will get our take home baby. I have a lot of mixed feelings. I'm stressed about getting the necessary time off work, how DH is going to get away from his boss (my dad) without explaining why and how I will not have enough time for as much acupuncture this time. When I asked DH he said to stop worrying because no matter what I do or don't do its only going to work if God decides its our time.

So here's the details. We are doing the lupron microflare protocol, which I'm unsure about since I'm a good responder. I have some worries about OHSS but trying to trust my RE knows what he's doing. I took BCPs for two weeks. I take nothing Tues and Weds this week. Thursday I start Lupron and have my baseline. Saturday I start stims. Not sure when my monitoring will be but tentative ER is Feb. 28 with hopefully a 5 day transfer.

Our insurance deductible is not met yet this year so we are paying all meds out of pocket and of course IVF is out of pocket too. Last time we got a loan, this time we are blessed enough to pay it all up front and forget about it. We decided not to go with ARC's one cycle plus plan. We figure in our specific case its cheaper to just pay for the services we recieve instead of paying a set amount. Our last IVF we got refunded $2000 for services we didn't use. It was a painful reminder last time paying on a loan for a baby we lost. This time we can forget about the $10k+ regardless of outcome.

That's all for now, I hope to be a more active blogger as this IVF continues. And CDJ.....I don't mind stalkers, its okay.....really.