Adoption Update

Remember that lawyer I said we met at an adoption seminar?  In December we decided that we were ready to meet with them and get the ball going on another adoption.  I actually am not sure I'm ready to be mom to two children but we figured by going the private route that it will take longer.  We want J to have a sibling and I want to complete our family sooner rather than later.  I think that I'd like to have another little boy that looks like J.  I like boys and want him to have a brother.  But I told DH that I feel like what we need is a little native american girl.  DH has some native american heritage but doesn't know much about it since his family is so disconnected from each other.  If we had a native american girl to add to our family we would have a boy and a girl, one that looks like me and one that looks like DH, plus it would be a way for him to connect to his own heritage.  So even though I don't feel totally ready we started our homestudy.  All the paperwork was so much easier the second time!  In a couple weeks we have our first meeting with the social worker.  This law firm does their own profile books and I gave them all the info and pictures they needed for that.  But they hadn't worked on it for weeks, which was fine since I'm in no hurry.  Then one day she calls and says they want to work on our profile book immediately and by the way there is a birthmom they want to show us to.  WHAT!?  I'm thinking we are on the long slow route here, not the fast track!  We were away for the weekend so it had to wait a few days but then they put a rush on finishing our profile and sent us more info about this birthmom.  And what do you know, she's native american and pregnant with a little girl, due 2 days after our 10 year anniversary in April.  She has some addiction issues, is only an hour away, wanting an open adoption, and already has a child.  All of which makes me nervous about the situation.  But she hasn't even chosen us yet so we will see and I'm trusting God to lead us to the right child.  I'm telling myself that I will be happy if she chooses us and somewhat relieved if she doesn't so either way is fine.