Last week we met with our expectant birthparents for the second time. This meeting was SO much easier and stress free. I was not nervous at all. We were there early again and their social worker came in a few minutes before they did. She told us that they really like us and she thought our last meeting went well. She said I was a little too quiet but she understands that's my personality and DH did perfect. Well thanks to that comment I spent the rest of the visit thinking about how I'm being too quiet and I should say something but didn't know what. She should never have said that to me. They had not had their hospital planning meeting yet so we really had nothing new to talk about. We had lunch and visited for about 2 hours. I hate how I have to spend 8 hours in the car for a 2 hour lunch but I know that at this point that is what needs to be done to strengthen our relationship with them. I always feel unsure how to act about the baby. Do I act like we are going to be his parents or do I act like we still aren't sure if they will follow through with it. I feel better about them going through with their decision after they talked some about why they chose adoption. And with it being an open adoption they understand that they are not saying goodbye forever.
One concern I have is that this is her second pregnancy and the first time she had a stillborn at 36 weeks. She never went into detail about the circumstances but it makes me extremely nervous. And what makes it worse is that she hasn't been to the doctor since her gender ultrasound. She said work is too busy but that she feels the baby moving all the time. After we got home I talked to my social worker and she said she will have their SW talk to her about seeing the doctor and take her there if necessary, although they can't force her to go. I just get all these scary thoughts in my head of us going to the hospital ready to meet our baby and its stillborn. Its hard enough to think about them deciding to parent but to end up with no healthy baby at all for anyone to take home is just horrifying. So then of course I google it and read even more scary things. Since she didn't say why it happened the first time there is no way to know if it was preventable. I'm just praying that she will go to the doctor and everything will be fine.
Next week is Bmom's birthday. I sent her card and wrote a nice note about how special she is to us and we can't wait to grow our relationship and spend many more happy birthdays with her. Our agency doesn't let us give gifts until after placement so I sent her pictures of the nursery. I'm not sure if it will make her happy to see we have a place ready for him and we will take good care of him or if it will make her sad that he has a home ready with someone that's not her.
We are down to almost 6 weeks until due date. I'm getting so anxious. I can't imagine if I were the one that was pregnant. I just want to bring this little guy home. Everyone says we need to enjoy our last few weeks of freedom but I'm ready for this. We've had 8 years of married freedom and we're ready to move on to the next phase. Of course I'm hoping she'll suprise us with an early delivery but not too early because we want him to be healthy. Everyone keeps asking me for updates and there is nothing to update. Other than our next meeting with them later this month, I'm just working on being patient.