Today we celebrated Easter with my family. My SIL didn't show up until we were almost ready to leave but I instantly felt bitter as soon as she walked in with her big old pregnant belly. This morning in church someone I went to school with sat behind us with her two kids and big old pregnant belly. DH's cousin who is much younger than us had a baby girl on Friday. DH's brother who doesn't even have a serious girlfriend will be a daddy in a few months. Its one of the those days. Bitterness, anger, pain, frustration, why isn't it me? Will it ever be me? *Sigh* This kind of thinking gets me nowhere.
On a somewhat related note, our church is looking for "mentors" or people to get to know the new members in our chuch and be there to answer questions for them and encourage them to attend regularly and be active members. Our church is predominantly old, DH and I are probably that youngest members that attend regularly. This year DH was nominated to be an elder, which he happily accepted because he's always happy to serve. Several of the new members are our age so we felt like we should be their mentors. We're stable and somewhat mature in our faith, DH is in a leadership position, we're ideal candidates to be their mentors and friends. My problem is that most of these young couples have kids and I don't necessarily want to befriend people my age and younger with kids. Is that terrible of me or what? But we're going to do it, I'm going to get over myself and my pain and serve God and my church in the way I feel called to do. Reluctant obedience is better than not obeying Him, right? Who knows, with a little prayer maybe I could even serve with a joyful heart.