Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I'm Still Here

Wow its been a long time since I've posted! I have been really busy with our remodeling project, our animals and my new job. The weather is starting to get nice so I've taken every opportunity to get out and walk the dog. No recent weight loss, my diet has been suffering also. Though I haven't gained so that's good. We found out today that my SIL is having a girl. It was the last thing I was holding on to, the dream that I would give our family the first little girl. I thought since I am the little girl that I had that right. I was preparing for this because I knew God wasn't through breaking me yet. It has always felt like a competition between me and my SIL. Looks like she won the final event. I'm disappointed but also feel relieved the game is over. Of course when the baby gets here my heart will break in a million pieces all over again. Thank goodness Dr. Jesus is on stand by. The only One that can truly put it back together better than before it was broke. He's so much more than a band aid! I was determined not to cry over this but as soon as DH called I fell apart. Looks like its time for me to do some work in the ol' spiritual garden. I better roll up my sleeves, get some dirt on this tear stained face and make room for my faith to grow, painful though it may be.


  1. Sorry you lost the "competition" with your SIL, stuff like that can be hard to deal with, especially when not many understand. Glad you are liking your job and you are able to get outside with the pup! I need to start walking our dog more, but it's not so much fun in the rain!

  2. Hi, just came across your blog. very nice. I wanted to say that I can understand wanting to be the one to have a girl. I felt the same way about a boy. When we started our adoption stuff my brother and his wife had just given birth to a girl a few months before. I so wanted to be the one to provide a boy to the family (via adoption). Well, my brother's son will be one in June. While I've been waiting for adoption, they have concieved, grown, and bore a son, and he will soon be one.