Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Day

Today we went to the lake with my family. My nephew is about 18 months old now and he just loves his uncle Mike. He starts saying "mike, mike" long before he gets near DH. Yesterday they sat behind us in church and the whole time he kept saying "mike, mike". DH is so good with kids and loves them so much that it breaks my heart that he may never be a father himself. Sometimes I want to give DH a child more than I want it for myself. He would be such a good daddy. And my SIL, oh how I covet her 8 month pg belly. I only wish mine had a baby bump like that. Then I watched my nephew through a tantrum and watched them take a good half hour to pack everything up to go home and for a brief second I was thankful its just me, DH and the dog. I really feel we have crossed that point where we need to decide to adopt or live child free. I really think I could choose to live child free most days. But then other days my heart hurts so bad I don't know how I would ever live without children.

Every summer I like to do a bible study. This summer I'm going to do the one from Sarah's Laughter. I'm excited to get started and plan to share much of it here with all of you.


  1. I know those feelings very well.

  2. Oh i know those feelings to well. But when my little 4 y/o niece crawled into my lap this wknd and fell asleep cuddled against me, I'm leaning to trying for the kid.

    Sigh IF is so hard! HUGS