Tuesday, July 17, 2012

4 Days Until What?

What happens in 4 days?  Well chances are nothing.  I've been watching the days tick off and now that we're almost there I realize that J might not even be here in 4 days.  Since bmom doesn't want to be induced she may go a ways past her due date.  I can't imagine the doctors would let her since her trouble with low amniotic fluid but they probably can't force her to be induced.  I know her maternity leave doesn't start until her due date so maybe she is just trying to make it that far.  I wish that someone would tell me what's going on.  Its starting to feel like there isn't really even a baby on the way.  If there is, he could still be 2.5 weeks away for all I know.  Besides that, since she didn't know she was pregnant until 4 months along, how accurate is her due date?  It would have had to be ultrasound dated and the further along you are the harder it is to get an accurate date.  I know he's been measuring small but I also know she eats a lot of junk food so that is a cause for low birth weight or her due date could be later than they think.  I just wish they would give me some indication or let me know what the doctors are saying.  At least give me a date they will induce if she isn't labor yet, even if its several weeks from now!  Just give me a finish line here!

I'm ready now, I've had the weekend and a couple days to get everything ready and off my to do list and now I'm just waiting.  I plan on quitting my job eventually but don't want to do so until we actually bring this baby home so for now I'm on vacation from work.  I've been on vacation before but I don't know if its the restlessness of waiting for this baby or the fact that I might not go back to work at all but this vacation feels different.  I can't believe I'm about to say this but I think I miss getting up and going to work every day.  I know, its only been two days! I'm a person who really likes routine and I'm just having trouble adjusting to a new one, especially since its not going to be a permanent one.  Plus DH is super busy trying to get work done so he can take time off when the baby gets here so I've hardly seen him.  Everyone says I should enjoy this time before the baby comes since I'll never have this life again.  But really we've been planning on starting our family for over 5 years, I feel like we've done everything we've wanted to do as a child free couple.  Last night DH said it feels like we're just in a stand still waiting for our new life to start.  There is no enjoying ourselves, we just want to hold this baby!  I've been dreaming about him every night lately, about the hospital, bringing him home, sharing him with family.  Obviously this little baby is all I can think about!  But the excitement of past weeks is gone and now I'm just feeling impatient and frustrated. 

I have some little things to do around the house and yard today but I'm just not motivated.  I might practice installing the car seat today, wash some new baby clothes, pay some bills, pull some weeds in the garden and around our landscaping.  Nothing that will help keep my mind off the baby.

1 comment:

  1. Spoken like an expectant mom. It sounds like I felt the last couple weeks of my pregnancy, I kept thinking "get here already". Obviously we want the babies to be healthy but it is a painful wait. Yours especially because you aren't being let in on all of the informations and scenarios. I am a control freak so that would drive me crazy.
    Anyways, so excited for you guys and I hope J comes soon.