Friday, March 18, 2011
It's negative. Just like I thought. I wish I could go back in time and make better decisions. The only thing I ever wanted to do was be a mommy. Now its pretty clear that its impossible. DH and I just can't make babies. All hope is gone. I always pick up the pieces and keep going. This time I'm not picking up the pieces, I'm just going to turn my back and walk away from our shattered dreams. But where am I headed now? What does my future look like without a family? What does God want me to do with my life since He won't let me be a mommy? I really hope the extent of His plan for me is not just selling stamps at the post office. I mean really, my life has got to have more purpose than that. I just have no idea what it is.