Thursday, March 17, 2011
I'm getting up early tomorrow to get my beta drawn before work. I haven't peed on any more sticks but I still feel a negative coming. Right after the transfer I *felt* pregnant for a while. Like I just knew my little ones were in there and I felt a connection to them. That only lasted about a week. Now I don't feel pregnant at all. The hot flashes are not as bad but I am completely exhausted, not sleepy tired but just bodily tired. Besides making me so tired the PIO is becoming literally a pain in the ass. I'm getting the same itchy red bumps as I did last time. And it doesn't look good to be walking around scratching your butt all the time! Although I have no bruises this time thanks to my expert shot giver. I still have a tiny bit of hope, where it came from I don't know but I have a tiny bit of hope that my beta might be positive. But I'm afraid of low numbers and slow doubling rates like last time. I'd rather take a negative than have another miscarriage. There is no way I'll have a high number or else I would have gotten a positive HPT earlier this week. I have a long day at work tomorrow, I'm hoping if I'm mentally prepared for a negative I will be able to keep it together and not break down in tears until I get home.