Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Bummer

I called the nurse back this morning and she said that they can't do IUIs because they aren't able to wash the sperm at their clinic. They can only do Intracervical insemination. Well wouldn't that have been an important detail to point out at any time in one of the many prior conversations we've had about doing an IUI?!? The doctor even kept referring to doing IUIs because I would have noticed if he had been saying ICI instead. So now its back to the RE to force an IUI on them or to throw in the towel. I haven't talked to DH yet. If times were good we would definitely pursue it. In fact if we were in good economic times we would probably get another IVF loan. But the economic future is very uncertain and we are naturally conservative people. There are some very smart people out there predicting some really tough times ahead and relatively soon too, not just in some far off future. Many people I know live in a bubble where they think such hard times can't happen in America but I believe hard times can and will come to America. Many people are already feeling it. I'm just very reluctant to spend money on anything but necessity these days. On the other hand I feel like we should do it at least once while we can afford it. Of course it probably won't work and we'd end up just throwing that hard earned money away with a doctor I totally can not stand to work with. But what if it did work? DH says its not a good time to be supporting a family but we have 100% faith that God would provide for us and we would survive. Kids don't NEED tons of toys and fancy things. All they need is a food, shelter and love. I'm pretty certain we can provide that even if times get tougher. That is IF we were lucky enough to be blessed with a child. I'm not sure that's ever going to happen. And I'm not sure I have the strength to start over and put my whole heart into this journey again.

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